Saturday, October 16, 2010

If I were to be honest...

In the past couple of weeks, the Lord has been doing some pretty AMAZING things in my heart.  When I say AMAZING I am not necessarily referring to the type of AMAZING that makes you smile, but definitely the kind that makes you more like Him! It is hard though to sit at the King's feet with absolutely nothing to show but your sin and the wickedness of who you really are!!

Last weekend I had the blessing of being one of the guest speakers at Faith 365.  I must say that the Lord magnifies Himself in my life and through others every time I am at that event.  He always purges me and shows me what I shall show others, not without it becoming real in my own life. And so, the same was true this time around!  I was so blessed by the many BEAUTIFUL women that attended, and the messages that were shared.  But impressively enough the biggest thing that God did for me while there was to open my eyes to something i believe He was trying to point towards a long time ago.

Have you ever gotten in soooo deep into something you don't know how to get out, even if you know you had to?  Well, that is what the Lord has shown me...  He intended for me to create for HIM and HIM ALONE.  To do events for Him and Him ALONE...  and yet somewhere down the line I have made Him part of what I have wanted...  I have a heavy heart.... 

While in Louisiana, Mrs. Lynnette told me that I need to take things slow because later in life I would regret having missed out on my children without a purpose.  Somehow when she said that i understood what God had been trying to tell me... I need to stop for HIM or I will not enjoy Him and the gifts He has given me. 

So, If I were to be truly HONEST, I must say that I hate every second I spend away from my children.... I hate how tired I am of not being able to kiss them goodnight every night because I have to be at a store...  I hate when my daughter sees me pacing back and forth in the house and automatically she tells me "Mami no va" (which means Mommy don't go")...  I hate that I can barely understand the things my son says because I don't spend enough time to know what it is he is trying to say... I hate that the conversations I have with my husband are short and to the point and that the time I spend with him has been narrowed to one night a week...  I hate that i have no time to fulfill the duties I believe I should be fulfilling in my house...  I hate the fact that I have debt to pay and I have to work daily in order to pay it and have something to offer our children...

Is it worth it?  If i were to be honest...  No!  Only the things that count in eternity are worth it...  Therefore I have made a very bold decision... I am NOT going to continue living the life I have led so far.  If anything needs to be sacrificed it will be that which does not have the Lord as the center of it!  I will continue with the Faith crops and will begin to have Faith events every 3 months.  I have realized that if I just teach women to scrapbook without adding the hope that exists in Christ, I am doing them a disservice... 

And so, starting in November, the Studio will only be open every other Friday and on Saturdays from 10am-10pm.  All the classes of the month will be offered on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of the month.  The 1st Saturday will be set apart for a regular All Day Crop and the 3rd will be for the Faith crops.

The monthly kit club will also change.  I am not going to offer a kit for the month of October because i am going to reconsider the purpose and spend some time creating kits that help me accomplish my mission.  I will be offering kits that include product that will enable women to create layouts and projects with the purpose of  leaving a legacy of what God has done and is doing in their lives.  The new kit will be released in December and the price will go down although the amount of product will remain the same.  There will be Bible challenges and lots of inspiration for just about anybody available in the blog. 

I know that this decision is probably going to cost me many many customers...  but IF I WERE TO BE HONEST... what matters to me is that Christ is being glorified and honored and that my children will get to see Him through even the hard decisions I make for His sake.  The Lord has given me His life...  the least I can do is give Him mine - UNASHAMEDLY!

Thanks to those of you that might not come back...  may the Lord bless you greatly. :)  Thanks to those that will stick around... may the Lord continue to show us His face!!

Love in Christ,

Nana

4 comments:

Angi @ CokiePop said...

I totally understand what you are going through. The Lord is speaking to me to make some changes as well. Many blessings to you as you start this new journey!

Susan Coish said...

Nana, I highly respect you for this decision! I think overall, many people are feeling a season of change is here...but not all choose to respond. Thank you for making this step and sharing with us all....you are an inspiration through Christ!!

Marlene said...

Wow Nana! You are such a special person. I hope that I can continue to get to know you. I wish you the best.

Shawn said...

It sounds like a wise decision. You will find peace in it as well.

I know that I'm not happy with the hustle and bustle of life. That's why I don't spend more time on my sketch website. I'm a homebody...I like to be able to take time with my family.

May God bless you in many ways.

 

Younique Reflections Copyright © 2011 Designed by Katie Blogger Template Sponsored by My Little Monsters